Remember the days when you would like a man and he would call you on the phone? He would ask you questions about yourself?...What you like to do?..Your favorite color? This would go on for a couple of days. When the phone would ring you would hope that it was him (pre-caller Id of course).And then he would ask you out on a date. A real date, he would take you wherever you wanted to go. And then you would have a stupid grin on your face the whole night just waiting to get to the kiss!
Well I remember those days. And I’m waiting for them to come back quite frankly! These days it goes zero to sex in a matter of a couple text messages. You all know what I’m talking about!..whether or not you want to partake in this new texting medium, it sort of presents itself out of the blue. Boy meets girl ..exchange numbers, cause conversations great; you feel some sort of chemistry—hence the phone number exchange. A couple days go by with a few text messages and then BAM!!..a sext!..
You’re left not knowing how to respond. You probably, think about how to respond. But no matter what you do respond, the conversation will always come back to the sext. Whatever happened to courtship? What happened to the days when a man would actually call you and talk to you? Now with all the new technology and social media out there men have close to no reason to call. They can just text, leave something on your FB wall etc.. So no more real dates!...No more courtship, no more get -to -know -you -conversation…the texts in-between are suppose to be enough.
Now men just dive right in with no shame. And instead of having the guts to take you out and get to know you before they try and make a move, they go for sexting. So the question is ladies, Is a sext taking place of dating and courtship?
YES! So sad...and so true! WE should revolt...if we all got together and agreed not to oblige to such "sexting" then perhaps our phones would ring again, and the caller on the other side might actually ask us out on a date, while informing us that he can't wait to get to know us more because by the sound of our actual voice we seem like a fun person...awwwee wouldn't that be swell...who's in?
ReplyDeleteIm a guy and I think that you are pinning the blame on us. Not us, infact this is a matter of finding the right person. Man or Woman, if a person is genuinely concerned about "courting" you then they find themselves hesitant to reveal any sex ritual. Even at the moment YOU give in to the "sext". The "right person" would definately respect your boundries. . .that is. . .as long as they aren't being misled.
ReplyDeleteI think texting in general has made it easier for people on many issues, one big one is for sure dating! I have to agree with Cristin on this one. Some men,(and I hesitate calling some of them this...lol)just do not take meeting someone seriously anymore. And Crisitn I remember those days too!! While I was reading your blog, I was thinking of how it was when Matt and I first started dating. It was exciting waiting for Matt to call me. I would get butterlies for the first 10 mintues of talking to him. We would ask eachother questions, get to know eachother more, and then set up our dates. I agree that this needs to happen more. Communication in general has been lost due to email, texting, and smart phones in general. However...it takes two to sext. I would almost make it a priority for you single ladies to put your foot down and make the men call you only and have limited texting for the first few weeks. If he understands, respects you, and is interested...he will do it with no hesitations. I can totally understand the frustration with this. I would hate to be single again.
ReplyDeleteDearest Cristin, you must have been a fly on my wall the other as I had a conversation regarding the very subject in your blog. Having the advantage of being a little older than you,(hugely stretching the truth),I can tell you that dating was all about being there with your special guy. Every girl I knew had a profound need to spend time in the presence of her man; attached at the hip was a popular posture.Young couples planned date nights, get together with the gang nights, and of course the all important, "My parents are going out of town" nights. It baffles me trying to understand "relationships" that exist through text, sext and Facebook. For this new generation, I would highly recommend spending a little face time with your significant other to whisper sweet nothings in their ears, gaze lovingly in their eyes, and copping a feel when you think no one else is watching!
ReplyDelete"Touch establishes communication, and what is transmitted has more meaning than words. Touch communicates involvement. It means you care that you are really supporting the other person. Touch heals and provides emotional sustenance. So reach out and touch your partner today." Dr. Martha Lee
True,so true! People are lazy men or woman! It is sad that a text or a sext is taking the place of courtship,i mean give us a little romance! The modern woman is more open with her sexuality but it should not be a green light to just start texting penis pics! Its sad we get excited because he text us hey.. :( princess syndrome blows!
ReplyDeletethis is true my dear.. we talked about this.. men are silly-dumb. I can't believe how lazy some men can be, now adaies if they can get up and pick up the phone to call you their a keeper smh ridiculous. finding a good man is like finding a unicorn! lol
ReplyDeleteI agree, I think cell phones in general have killed dating really. I had a friend that was calling and texting my sister because he liked her. Next thing I know he is calling me ranting that she is cheating on him! She does cheat on the men she dates, but I was confused because they hadn't even gone out on ONE date. He claimed that 'talking' to each other is the same thing as dating and try as I might I could not convince him otherwise, a little effort really needs to be put forth to expect anything monogamous anyone can call or text you, but it's the face to face time that sets you apart from the competition.
ReplyDeleteI must also add that I have found a rarity now days. I'm dating a man that doesn't text, and doesn't have a facebook page. He waited till our 3rd date to even TRY to have sex with me and we have been together for a year now and he really tries at our relationship. Not everything is perfect by a long shot... but he has that quality of trying to be a good man that I can appreciate.
I love your blog and I think that you and I am following you. Keep up the good work and check out mine if you would like.
http://kimberli-findingmyway.blogspot.com
Oh man. THOSE WERE THE DAYS. I can barely remember them. ha!
ReplyDelete