Monday, November 21, 2011

Love Don't Cost a thing...thanks JLO

There is a lot that you learn in your twenties. You learn that time goes by very fast. You learn that being an adult doesn't mean getting to do whatever you want. But one thing no one ever prepares you for is the absolute fact that the very things that you want the most do not come in a package or can be purchased on your credit card.



 Sure, we've heard the cliches  about love being priceless, but to be in your twenties where you desire love and to give love and it hasn't happened yet is hard to take. No prince charming in your life, no special someone to take your breath away, just you.

It is different than the love you desired in your teens, it is far superior to those types of feelings-it's more raw and real than the eagerness to have someone around. It is the realization of wanting to give and receive love. The craving of wanting to grow old with someone,The desire for a best friend to go through the adventures of life with. All the trappings of a deep committed relationship are seemingly just beyond your reach.

 The consciousness that love is in fact the very most coveted desire in the world can put a twenty something in a hard place. Without selling out and settling just to have someone means to be alone by choice. Even though this is the noble and right thing to do,  it can be hard to deal with all the emotions that come with that. The endless questions that reside deep inside your heart. The dark thoughts, the sad, melodramatic thoughts that are self loathing. They exist, my favorite dark thought is" Am I going to end up alone?"
It can haunt you almost daily. Some other visions are similar to ending up being the old cat lady, etc,etc.

We've been told to date, don't date, play games, don't play games, write a list, pray, eat, love, blah ,blah, blah. So what are we suppose to do? Are we suppose to sit around and wait for the person to waltz into our lives? Are we suppose to pray and write our lists of the "perfect" man to sweep us off our feet? Are we suppose to go through life just crying our eyes out when we feel alone?

I don't know what the answers are. I fear these questions do not have answers. I pray that whatever the answers are, our twenty something hearts may have cushion from the reality that singledom can be hard and lonely on us single twenty somethings.

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